


All for Nothing

by Aurumite



Series: Tumblr Prompts [14]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Family deaths, Gen, Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-13
Updated: 2014-10-13
Packaged: 2018-02-21 00:44:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2449028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aurumite/pseuds/Aurumite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Is it true what they say about you."<br/>"I don’t know. What do they say about me?"<br/>"That you condemned your own sister to death."</p>
            </blockquote>





	All for Nothing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ArgetCross](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArgetCross/gifts).



> For a prompt requesting Chrom and Say'ri talkin' through their feels after Emmeryn and Yen'fay. Edited slightly from the Tumblr version because it moved too quickly.

The night was cool in Valm, this high above sea level, but the trees were still thick and leafy. Chrom had been sitting on a bench before a temple's garden, admiring the temple itself: all slanted roofs and thick wooden columns and elaborate trees and dragons carved into the walls. Nothing like the chapels back home. It was a marvel how the people in Chon’sin worshipped the same Naga so differently from his own people.

Yen’fay had been slain. What next? He should be consulting with Robin, he knew, but for the moment something within him felt too heavy to move. He wasn’t sure if it was because of that or because of her quiet pace that she snuck up on him. He was startled to see her standing so near, so suddenly.

”Say’ri.”

"I must ask you a question," she said. 

"All right," said Chrom. "Please, sit."

"It is a painful question." 

Her face did not change, flinty as always. Her dark eyes were impassive. Chrom was confused but gestured to the wooden bench he sat on anyway. She joined him delicately, without looking at him. 

Despite also being royalty, Chrom hadn’t spoken to her much. She was his newest ally and exclusively focused on protecting Tiki and avenging her parents. It was something he couldn’t really understand. He didn’t remember much of his mother, and while he wasn’t ever good at reading history books, they all seemed to agree that there was nothing worth remembering about his father. 

"It is lovely," he said with a nod to the sweeping architecture of the temple. Say’ri ignored his pleasantry. 

"Is it true what they say about you." 

"I don’t know. What do they say about me?" 

"That you condemned your own sister to death." 

His stomach clenched painfully. Say’ri looked his way and elaborated, 

"Across the ocean, we did not receive much word about your war. We do not care much about you or Plegia or Regna Ferox. But that news travelled quickly. They said that the mad king gave you a choice between your sister and your kingdom. And we did not know what you said, but we knew Exalt Emmeryn was dead." 

Chrom was silent. He couldn’t swallow and was afraid that if he opened his mouth, he would choke or drool or start to cry. The Shepherds had very carefully avoided this subject with him. Say’ri pulled no punches. 

"You killed her," she said, but it was more of a question. 

"I didn’t." 

It came out louder than he meant it to, ringing off the broad surface of the temple and echoing back to them. That soft, he could hear it was a lie. He dropped his head and had to elaborate. 

"She made the choice for me. She jumped. But it was because I hesitated so long. I had no idea what the right thing to do was. If we had only been smarter, or had gotten to Plegia sooner…if I had only been wise, like her…" 

Bugs were whirring and cheeping. The silence between them got longer and more awkward. Chrom wanted to demand why she’d come all this way just to open up his old wounds, but couldn’t make himself. He deserved it. 

"Do you know which member of your army killed my brother?" she asked in a low voice. He raised his head, stunned with his own selfishness.

“Say’ri…I’m so sorry. I’ll do whatever it takes to pay reparations. Who was it? I’ll speak to them and the three of us can make things right.” 

He’d been in a duel of his own, but he should have been paying attention. Say’ri chuckled bitterly. 

"I slew him, Chrom." 

He only blinked as she continued, 

"And he allowed me to. He was always so much stronger, but he…he hardly parried. His attacks were light. He was slow. And I…fie." She cursed and hung her head as he had, letting her black hair curtain her face. Chrom stared for a moment and then let out the breath he’d been holding. 

"In Ylisse, fratricide is one of the worst possible crimes." 

"Tis something our countries have in common." 

He felt the weight between them increase, making it more difficult to breathe. How would anyone follow them when they had such crimes on their shoulders? How could they stand before the masses and pretend that they knew the right paths for their countries to take? Their hands were permanently stained. They were murderers. Damned. 

But each night in bed, when Chrom was alone and began to hate himself more fiercely, wasn't there a voice so like Emmeryn's that always told him to stop? That she didn't want this for him?

"He did it for me," she whispered. "All this time, he fought for Walhart because they said they would kill me, otherwise. And this is how I repaid him."

"I understand," he said, and had to rest his head in his hands. His neck wouldn't support its weight anymore. "I understand."

"What do I do? How do I live with myself?"  

"It gets easier. A little bit." 

Say'ri's head tilted. He could tell she was watching him through the cover she had made of her hair. 

"The guilt subsides. You draw strength from your cause. You remember that they chose their death freely. That in a choice between their life and yours, they would have chosen yours every time. Because they loved you so much." 

"Yet how may I reconcile that with how I loved him, too?" Her hands were shaking. Chrom watched her clasp them in her lap. "He was my elder brother. I have so many memories with him. I admired him so…I wished to be like him in every way."

"I’m…still working on that part," Chrom admitted. Still without looking at him, Say’ri reached out and gripped his hand hard enough to make him wince. 

"I am sorry," she said. 

"Me too. I’m so sorry." 

"Your country. It was in ruins after. You had to succeed her right away. What did you do?" 

"I did my best. And no matter what, it was never as good as she did it. It’s still not. I don’t know what I’d do if it weren’t for Lissa and Frederick and the rest. My wife. Knowing I have to succeed, for Lucina." He’d started to grip Say’ri’s hand just as hard. "I can’t follow in her footsteps. I’m just not smart enough.  _Good_  enough. She always knew the right thing to do. We’ll be lucky if I don’t bring Ylisse down around our heads.” 

"It does not look so bad, from the outside."  

"Thanks," he said with a weak smile. They returned their hands to their laps. "What I have to remember is what Emm wanted for me. She died to spare me the pain of this. I should not force myself to endure it anyway. Otherwise it would have all been for nothing."

"Aye. But is it better to die at an enemy's hands or the hands of a loved one?"

"If he did not want to die at your hands, he would not have. He held back; you said as much yourself. As morbid as it sounds, I think in his last moments he was proud of you."

"You've no lack of pretty words, Chrom. Is this what makes a good king in your country?"

"A good leader can comfort, Emmeryn always said. Is it working?"  

She did not answer, but she pushed her hair back behind her ear and her small smile belied her. "Perhaps. And so we move on, do we not? Yet I’ve no idea how I shall rebuild Chon’sin to its former glory."

"If you need it, you’ll have our aid." 

Say’ri snorted. “You can barely afford this war.” 

"We’ll think of something. We’re allies, are we not?" 

"Aye." A pause, and then: "Thank you, Chrom." 

"No need." 

They sat together for a long while in silence. He went back to studying the temple and she studied her hands. He was pretty sure that they both prayed a little bit. Eventually she stood and left, as silently as she’d come. Chrom sat a while longer before he sighed and did the same. 


End file.
